How to help my son / daughter not to suffer bullying?

Bullying is a type of physical and psychological harassment, humiliation and abuse. This can affect people of any age, it can also happen anywhere and at any time. Usually this term is used to refer to these situations, when they occur within the facilities of schools and educational institutes .

Bullying continues to occupy the top places in international statistics on cases of abuse among children and adolescents. Unfortunately, these are situations that have serious consequences for those who occupy the role of victims. In most of these cases, they are conflicts that arise from prejudices and social stereotypes .

Helpful tips for parents in bullying cases 

Parents of children who are being bullied can help them in a number of ways. The first step is to let them know that this is a situation for which they are not to blame and neither should they be ashamed. It is important to reinforce the existing trust between both parties, in this way the child will be able to express himself freely.

It is normal for victims to be fearful when seeking help. The people who are usually resorted to are family members, mainly the father or mother. It should be emphasized that the victim is not responsible for the events, other useful tips are mentioned below:

  • The guilt feelings of the victims must be combated . This is so intense and irrational that it can increase stress and anxiety. It is important to exercise caution when talking to them and at no time expose any kind of criticism.
  • Understanding and maintaining an attitude that shows interest in finding a solution is the best option.
  • The support of the authorities that are directing the educational entity where the events are taking place must be sought .
  •  By making a formal complaint , the necessary measures can be implemented to guarantee the personal integrity of the victim .
  • Avoiding downplaying this situation will help the victim feel cared for and loved. In many cases, young people who feel misunderstood by their parents, fail to overcome the psychological consequences satisfactorily.
  • Constant communication must be maintained with teachers and those in charge of the educational institution. By maintaining good communication and relationships with these authorities, you can be aware of possible unusual behaviors.
  • At home you should talk about this subject because so children can recognize. It should be avoided that social prejudices are instilled in them, these preconceptions could damage their social relationships in the future.

Methods that help avoid these situations 

Experts say that it is possible to prevent this from happening, through the implementation of a series of measures both personal and at the community level. That is, each individual is responsible for their decisions and actions, but society can also begin to accept the use of certain rules of coexistence . Taken together, these changes would mean the possibility that harassment situations decrease significantly.

At home, and also within academic spaces, measures of this type can be implemented. Family members of children and adolescents can teach them concepts such as respect and acceptance. From an early age, each person will acquire skills that promote tolerance .

To avoid being bullied, children can be taught valuable psychological tools. The key is to strengthen self-esteem and also social skills, the combination of these factors will result in the child being able to fend for himself.

Child psychologists agree that parents are primarily responsible for learning values ​​such as respect dignity and empathy . Also self-confidence and self- assurance will provide them in the future the possibility of avoiding suffering this type of abuse. Here are the factors that help prevent bullying:

  • The ability to resolve conflicts will mean that they will be brief and will not have serious consequences.
  • People who show confidence are less likely to be attacked, they also show less vulnerability.
  • It is important to express yourself without feeling fear . When children make their preferences and interests clear, it also means that they are setting limits.
  • Making yourself respected by others is a show of strength. This way you avoid having contact with children that could harm them.
  • Individuals who are able to control their own emotions are not usually the target of bullies.
  • Also children who are able to ask for help in a timely manner , will be able to avoid suffering the most serious consequences.
  • Children who have an active social life are less prone to isolation and rejection from other people.

What can parents do to intervene in a timely manner?

Within the social circle of victims, and bullies, those who interact with them can focus their efforts on helping them equally. The best way to do this is by paying attention to behavior and changes in habits . It has been shown that people when they are suffering some type of physical or psychological abuse, begin to manifest changes that are perceptible to others.

In bullying cases, the first step is to identify this situation . Children, as well as adolescents, generally try to keep the suffering they are going through anonymous. It is normal to feel depressed, and it is also normal to stop doing activities that commonly make you feel good.

There are several indicators that serve for parents and guardians. These will guide you in such a delicate moment, especially to take the most appropriate measures. These are specific signs , but it is important to note that each case is different; people cope with difficulties in different ways. The most common indicators are described below:

  • Children begin to be evasive , so they stop engaging in social activities and even avoid eye contact.
  • You begin to suffer from sleep disorders , such as insomnia or sleeping excessively.
  • The victims are reluctant to attend school, or to the places where they are usually harassed.
  • The social isolation volunteer . Children prefer to stay at home and avoid having contact with the outside world.
  • In some cases it can be observed that children show scratches, bumps, cuts and bruises . It can happen immediately after you have returned from school.
  • It is also observed that children cannot pinpoint the whereabouts of their personal belongings. They may be afraid to admit that they have been stolen from them as part of the harassment they suffer.
  • They can request an increase in the money that is assigned to them daily. Bullies sometimes demand money from their victims .

Once these issues have been identified, parents can take action on them. In these cases, it is best to seek the advice and help of professionals, doctors and psychologists mainly. The intervention of professors and other authorities related to the academic sector to which the victim belongs can also be requested.

It is important not to intervene until it is properly identified, it is verified if there really is a case of harassment. Parents also cannot force their children to admit to being bullied. Staying calm is also conducive to having a more assertive mental state, you can make timely decisions. Victims require the help of trained people to find solutions.

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Alexa Clark specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. She has experience in listening and welcoming in Individual Therapy and Couples Therapy. It meets demands such as generalized anxiety, professional, love and family conflicts, stress, depression, sexual dysfunction, grief, and adolescents from 15 years of age. Over the years, She felt the need to conduct the psychotherapy sessions with subtlety since She understands that the psychologist acts as a facilitator of self-understanding and self-acceptance, valuing each person's respect, uniqueness, and acceptance.

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