“We no longer share anything, we do nothing but argue, I could count sexual relations with the fingers of one hand, he does not notice me, we do not have affectionate gestures with each other, …”.

These are some of the many complaints that members of a couple in crisis can make. And it is that routine, stress, responsibilities, etc., can cause, with relative ease, deficiencies between two people who share a relationship.
A relationship is like a balance, it has its good things (“positive”) and its bad things (“negative”). For us to be worth the relationship and feel happy and satisfied with our partner, the “positive” has to be at least slightly above the “negative.”
A possible comparison would be to assimilate the couple’s relationship to a bank account:
“We open an account at the bank on our own initiative, without anyone forcing us, just as we started a relationship by our own decision; The more money I enter into the account first, the more facilities the bank will offer me, as well as the more I get involved in a relationship from the beginning, the more chances I will have for it to evolve correctly; It is necessary to periodically make income in the account so that when the bills arrive it does not remain in the red, just as it is important to take care of the “positive” in the couple so that when the “negative” arrives (economic or labor problems , illnesses, difficulties, etc.) the couple is united and can cope adequately ”.
Being in a relationship can be complicated and destabilizing, to the point of making us doubt whether we continue to love that person or, simply, we have gotten used to them.
There are four factors that help us detect the satisfaction rate in a relationship:
1) Exchange of reinforcers : sharing positive experiences, making and receiving words and gestures of affection, recalling symbolic moments of the relationship, etc., causes union between the members of the couple. Taking care of the “positive” facilitates and helps to cope with the “negative” (when it appears).
2) Communication : it is important that both members of the couple share anecdotes, positive and negative feelings, make direct requests about specific behaviors, listen actively and empathetically to the other, etc. Communication is one of the most important bases in a relationship.
3) Problem-solving skills : since life involves problems and, with them, the need to make decisions, a couple who knows how to overcome obstacles and seek solutions, both individually and jointly, has less risk of being estranged.
4) Ability to negotiate : it has always been said that each of us comes “from our father and our mother.” For this simple reason, chances are that the same points of view are not always shared with the couple. When you have different interests, it is crucial to know how to negotiate and reach “you win-I win” agreements with which both members can feel satisfied.
The couples therapy is intended to detect and practice each of these skills may be failing in the relationship, in order to promote love and mutual respect and generate positive feelings between partners.
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Alexa Clark specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. She has experience in listening and welcoming in Individual Therapy and Couples Therapy. It meets demands such as generalized anxiety, professional, love and family conflicts, stress, depression, sexual dysfunction, grief, and adolescents from 15 years of age. Over the years, She felt the need to conduct the psychotherapy sessions with subtlety since She understands that the psychologist acts as a facilitator of self-understanding and self-acceptance, valuing each person's respect, uniqueness, and acceptance.

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