What does it mean to ask for forgiveness and forgive in psychology?

The relationship between forgiveness and forgiveness is determined by the search to achieve to defend a right an objective. Both are psychological processes that involve emotional relief, the performance of certain actions could hinder progress in being able to agree to fulfill certain values or interests .

Sometimes a therapeutic procedure is presented to common forgiveness, but the possibility of forgiving also implies taking into account that certain psychological aspects underlie . Likewise, both would involve obtaining certain personal benefits, the effects of these actions could be both positive and negative.

The action of forgiving is usually related to religious connotations, this is a term that can be applied to any social situation. However, from the point of view of psychology, this is an element that is relatively new in its application in therapies. It began to deepen on this subject approximately in the middle of the last century. It would not be until the end of the last decade of the century when methodologies that use forgiveness as a therapeutic tool began to be designed . Its effects on the people involved are significant.


What is forgiveness in psychology? 

In psychology, the term forgiveness considers to be making mention of certain changes in behavior, these could be of a destructive nature that cause damage both on a personal and social level. This is considered to be a process that also implies the acceptance of negative behavior and the guarantee of adopting positive behaviors .

It could be considered as a metaphor, since the person is reflecting on their own behaviors and psychological characteristics that are destructive. Therefore, it is a voluntary action and it is a sign of being aware of implementing measures that promote the application of a solution.

Consequently, asking for forgiveness and agreeing to forgive requires a firm decision to commit to performing these actions. You must put aside your own interests and adopt a thought that promulgates the search for retraining. 

In psychology, it describes a procedure characterized by the voluntary modification of the emotional and behavioral state that has been detected as the problem. Not only thoughts are involved, but also feelings, and emotions and sensations; All of them condition behavior in a non-compulsory way, but it does influence it.

Why is it important to forgive? 

In psychology four components are mentioned that define what forgiveness consists of. The first of them mentions the affectation which occurs after having suffered damage or a transgression , the second consists of the need to seek compensation or even revenge. The third is related to conflicts in social relationships, a desire is expressed to achieve a rapprochement and avoid distancing.

Finally the fourth component is the identification of and change of those negative aspects. You begin to experience an increase in feelings such as compassion, it is when you begin to have a mutual understanding. During this procedure limits are established that are necessary for self-protection and the learning of tools that allow it not to happen again.

The importance of forgiving lies in the fact that this is a psychological tool that allows people to be able to free themselves of burdens, thus it is possible to live a fuller life. When repressed desires such as revenge are expressed emotionally, they are usually reasons why it is not possible to focus on more positive aspects.

Psychologists have designed different therapeutic treatments focused on the pursuit of achieving this goal. Either to ask for forgiveness or instead forgive, in either of the two scenarios a benefit that is not only personal would be achieved.

Another importance to which it is related is in the possibility of reconciling with oneself and with the aggressor. That is, it is a necessary means for you to heal emotionally . When it is possible to acquire someone’s forgiveness, it is assumed that we can win their trust again, in case of being the one who provides forgiveness then limits are being established that make it clear that we want to protect ourselves.

The action of forgiveness in psychology is associated with the release of negative emotions . From fear to mistrust, all of these are psychological aspects that establish limits for which maintaining relationships with others turns out to be difficult. This is a really important tool to learn from these experiences and also to develop personally. Then, as a result, a change in self-assessment is observed.

The benefits of the act of forgiveness are often mentioned, however, we must also consider the effects that it has caused as a consequence. Arguably, the most difficult part of this process is getting rid of the desire for revenge and anger. Any negative emotion could be considered as a way for self-protection. However, the magnitude of the damage must be assessed and all possible alternative solutions considered.

For psychotherapy, the practice of forgiveness meant the discovery of a very useful therapeutic tool. It has a very high value because it is supposed to be a very useful means for the release of trauma. According to various medical studies it has been possible to specify that in various situations it means being an advance with a high level of acceptance. For people who have been emotionally hurt, forgiveness would be an important step in healing. 

How is it achieved? 

The request for forgiveness and agreeing to forgive are both actions that are intertwined with each other. A procedure is followed at a certain time, a continuous process is described in which certain aspects that are and important for both parties are deepened.

A series of steps must be followed, the first of which consists of identifying and implementing measures that limit the continuation of destructive and explicit behaviors . The next step involves the adoption of positive behaviors, this second part could be considered the most complex due to the implications that this entails.

It is important to consider that the process of forgiveness will always be focused on the search for positive responses for those who occupy the position of the affected person. On the other hand, whoever fulfills the role of the forgiven, must take actions that allow them to restore the lost trust,

Taking into account what has been said above, we must consider the existence of different levels to reach forgiveness. This implies mutual understanding and the willingness to follow the same path in which mutual help will be of vital importance.

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Alexa Clark specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. She has experience in listening and welcoming in Individual Therapy and Couples Therapy. It meets demands such as generalized anxiety, professional, love and family conflicts, stress, depression, sexual dysfunction, grief, and adolescents from 15 years of age. Over the years, She felt the need to conduct the psychotherapy sessions with subtlety since She understands that the psychologist acts as a facilitator of self-understanding and self-acceptance, valuing each person's respect, uniqueness, and acceptance.

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