The passion linked to love relationships is one of the strongest feelings that human beings experience. However, the passion or passion for love in a relationship diminishes over time, giving rise to more serene and necessarily stronger bonds of companionship. The passion for passion itself is not maintained through the years.

Studies that have been done in this regard indicate that passion dies after the first two years in an average relationship. If the relationship prospers, it remains at a low level for about fifteen years and regains some vigor after the children leave home. However, what is passion from a psychological perspective , what are its essential characteristics.

What is passion?

For psychology, passion is defined as an intense passive type of affection . It is also an emotion or reaction of strong and acute development, but of short duration, which is determined by an environmental stimulus. Furthermore, for psychoanalysis it is understood as a drive.

Now, there is also the passion directed towards things or situations. For example, the great passion that athletes feel for the practice of a particular discipline or the passion for art that an artist experiences. In these terms, this emotion, which manifests itself in the form of attraction towards something , is not short-lived. It can accompany and shape the life of any person.

What are their characteristics?

Passion brings determination, conviction, and love for something or someone. Seen this way, passion is a strong desire that leads to great efforts, to perform difficult tasks, in order to preserve and develop it. So, passion is an emotion that serves to act, because without action it has no meaning. Passion is the energy of action.

But, placing passion in the realm of love relationships, evolutionary psychology has something to say. For this psychological school, love is an evolutionary mechanism that facilitates the survival of the strongest and most capable. Passion is an essential factor for human survival and, for these reasons, passion diminishes when the ultimate goal of procreating has been achieved or failed.

Starting from that idea, diverse genders are assisted by an instinctive and social purpose to procreate. The biological purpose of conserving the species through procreation is integrated into the production of brain chemicals that produce passion and desire , in addition to the sensations of the sexual act itself.

That biological sense of love passion seems to strip her of her most irreverent qualities, those that give her a large dose of emotional outburst, linked to the most human subjective sensations . While it is true, brain chemistry plays a determining role in all emotions, people simply get carried away by passion without going to the nature of their existence.

That said, passionate love is an essential component of love, along with commitment and rapport . It should not be confused with obsessive states, which is already a behavioral anomaly that must be attended to by a specialist or therapist.

It is possible for a person to go from passionate love to obsessive behavior . But healthy passion is in itself necessary in love relationships. When one of the parties leads to obsessive behavior, either because they do not handle the rejection of their counterpart well, they resist that the relationship is ended or they simply no longer share the same interests, the problem is not one of passion itself but of passion. person in question.

Passion is not commitment either, as is obvious. You might think that passion is an attraction that requires action and commitment may or may not be present. That is to say, there is no doubt that sexual relations are accompanied by a good load of passion (at least it is what is expected in the ordinary way in the first stages of a relationship); But, the commitment requires more encouragement so that it is born and strengthened for, at least, an important time.

What is its importance for psychology?

Much of what is regularly read about passion refers to its most open notion , that which delimits the strong desire that moves the will of human beings to give meaning to their lives.

In reality, if you think about it, the passion that is fueled in a more or less adult love relationship has much of that strong desire to break down barriers; However, here the interests of reaching the climax are present, the body of the other, in a sum of carnal desires . And each time the sexual act occurs, the possession of one over the other is reissued. In these terms, the passion that “moves mountains” to reach the zenith of a professional goal, a home, an Olympic medal, etc., also seeks to conquer something, material or immaterial.

Passion is then an ingredient that spice up a relationship. Could you survive a love relationship without passion? A short answer is yes. However, it all depends on the expectations of those involved, the agreements they have reached and the cultural community to which they belong, because socio-cultural habits and customs exert a not inconsiderable influence.

Confusing passion with love is a fairly common mistake. Love is a lasting feeling (obviously it also dies); But, you can survive the decline in passion. As already noted at the beginning of this article, statistics indicate the death sentence or almost the extinction of passion with the passing of the years.

With which the thesis that the first outbursts of passion were the unconscious impulse of the need for procreation with the chosen partner would be somewhat corroborated . After consuming the sexual appetites with the same person, it seems that there would no longer be room for surprise and initial enthusiasm.

There is a risk of falling into determinism, but people’s expectations should be considered according to their degree of maturity. It is said that seven years of relationship with a couple is the inflectional time to know if the relationship will take hold or, on the contrary, will have its days numbered.

In young couples, who tend to look more at the half-empty glass, realizing that there are no longer butterflies in the stomach, that passion has lost its initial bellows (and love looks battered because surely they have already tied it to the passion), find no other way than divorce.

On the other hand, in more emotionally stable couples , with a longer life in love relationships, something different happens. In their world of expectations, from the beginning of a love relationship, they give more importance to the value of the company, to selfless love, to commitment, than to passion itself. Experience has shown them that harmonious passion, the one that is born from love for their partner and that they know how to control and manage will lead them to a long, structurally more complete relationship.

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Alexa Clark specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. She has experience in listening and welcoming in Individual Therapy and Couples Therapy. It meets demands such as generalized anxiety, professional, love and family conflicts, stress, depression, sexual dysfunction, grief, and adolescents from 15 years of age. Over the years, She felt the need to conduct the psychotherapy sessions with subtlety since She understands that the psychologist acts as a facilitator of self-understanding and self-acceptance, valuing each person's respect, uniqueness, and acceptance.

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