How do I tell my family and friends that I am homosexual?

Currently, the issue of people’s sexual orientation and identity is in a period marked by greater acceptance at the social level . However, the changes that have occurred in the way of thinking in society as a whole do not apply to all cases. Cases of homophobia continue to be recorded and rejected because there are still stereotypes and erroneous beliefs that arise from poor sex education.

People who identify as gay today feel social pressure to make such information public. This situation affects not only personal life, but also in the academic or work environment, conflictive situations can be generated . But undoubtedly at the family level it is more relevant to communicate this situation, this environment is more important for the psychological health and affective stability of the person who has this sexual orientation.

The family environment of a person influences the development of a person. The first social experiences and the putting into practice of these skills depend on this environment. It is very important to maintain a good relationship with parents, siblings and other direct relatives to guarantee a better quality of life.

In society, family structures exert an important influence on personal development and also in the community. The emotional well-being of people who have a sexual orientation or identity different from what is socially accepted, often face significant difficulties throughout their lives. To be able to adapt to any situation, they must have the necessary support from both family and close friends who accept them for who they are. 

How is the family relationship of homosexual people from the point of view of psychology? 

The acceptance of homosexuality at the social level has undergone a positive evolution in recent years. This is an issue that is discussed with greater honesty and without restrictions publicly , and homosexuality is no longer considered a mental illness. Previously, several decades ago in the history of humanity, having a sexual orientation or identification that was far from what was conventionally accepted by society was punished and severely punished.

However, there is still a long way to go towards total acceptance due to the fact that there are still sources of violence from homophobia. In some societies, this issue continues to present conflicts with religious and moral values that are part of the identity of that community. This means that there are still limits to ensuring that people identified as homosexual can fully integrate into the society to which they belong.

Taking into account that each family environment is different, it is likely that in some cases it is more difficult to establish honest communication with the family. When a person has accepted his own homosexuality he will begin to feel the need to communicate it socially, in this way he will feel freer.

Psychologists generally recommend that people who identify with a sexual orientation that does not conform to the beliefs of the family environment, this should take certain prior measures. Broadcasting said news should be done in an intimate environment in which only close people participate, but their way of thinking should also be taken into consideration.

Usually, importance is only given to the needs of the person who is going to open up in relation to their sexuality . However, it is also important to take into account the needs of family members such as the mother or father who may react in a negative way . In these cases, mediating with people will always depend on factors such as respect, tolerance and the establishment of clear and precise communication.

It has been proven that the quality of life was markedly improved by homosexual people when they maintain a good relationship with family and friends. Having strong affective bonds that provide them with trust and security , in the long term allows them to face possible conflicts in the future due to their condition.

How to communicate with the family? 

The sincerity, respect, empathy and acceptance are key elements to improve the relationship between homosexuals with his family. In this case, it is always advisable to establish honest communication with the member who is most trusted. The next step is to bring together all members who are deemed to have knowledge of such information.

Here are some helpful tips when telling family and friends that you are gay. In each of these alternatives it is better adjusted in some particular cases, it is advisable to carry out a prior analysis of the personal situation to detect which is the best choice. They are as follows:

Chat privately 

The first step is always to try to communicate this information to the closest immediate family member. Sometimes the chosen person is usually one of the parents, it is always advisable to reassure them first before exposing the approach honestly . It is also important to answer all the questions or doubts that may arise, in this way they will act in a better way when faced with the news.

The person or persons who are told about their own sexual orientation should be provided with all the necessary information in relation to this topic. It is also relevant to let them know that despite facing some social difficulties, which homosexuality entails even today, what matters is that the family is understanding and shows acceptance.

Introducing your partner

That in some cases the communication of sexual orientation can be facilitated by introducing the current partner . In some cases, parents may react better when they see that their son or daughter is in a healthy relationship. Considering that heterosexuality is currently a normalized sexual orientation, it is even considered imposed, in the case of homosexuality, having a partner may require a more extensive explanation.

In these cases it may be necessary to share information regarding the type of protection and other measures used to have a healthy sexual life. That is, in some cases it is possible that parents begin to question what their children’s sexual life is like. Although it is an uncomfortable subject, the important thing is to make it clear that you are leading a normal life .

Biparental families  

This is the family unit in which it is identified by the presence of a father and a mother. They have biological offspring in pairs, but can also include members who are adopted . Usually in these cases there is better communication between homosexual children with their respective representatives.

Adoptive families 

Similarly, there is a greater margin to accept homosexual members. In these family nuclei, values ​​such as respect and empathy are usually reinforced by the diversity of affective ties that are created within this environment.

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Alexa Clark specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. She has experience in listening and welcoming in Individual Therapy and Couples Therapy. It meets demands such as generalized anxiety, professional, love and family conflicts, stress, depression, sexual dysfunction, grief, and adolescents from 15 years of age. Over the years, She felt the need to conduct the psychotherapy sessions with subtlety since She understands that the psychologist acts as a facilitator of self-understanding and self-acceptance, valuing each person's respect, uniqueness, and acceptance.

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